Voltron: Age Of Abominations
by Eogrus
Summary: Allura returns from hell. What will happen then?


Allura's soul was getting very raped in hell for being a whore and slut, so she did a spell (rhymes) and got out of it for revenge.

"Arrrrgh those paladins will pay Gaarrrggh!" she roared meanly and periodically.

She went outside Lance's house and disguised herself as an old woman and knocked three times.

"Oh noble paladin will you not let an old lady in?" crowed Allura meekly.

Lance opened the door and laughed.

"Ha ha ha what a shitty old lady, kindly fuck off and go knead or whatever it is you do while I have sex with my sister" Lance barked dismissively.

But before he could close the door Allura became her true form again.

"You who once loved me only wanted me for my body, so you will meet such an end!"

And before he could beg to have sex with her she transformed him into a living statue with a priapic penis and all birds of the land saw fit to land on it and take a shit. As to his family she turned them into rapacious monkeys who copulated amidst themselves, especially the children. Allura then went outside Keith's house and became an old woman again and knocked three times.

"Oh noble paladin will you not let an old lady in?" crowed Allura oldly.

Keith opened the door and laughed.

"Ha ha ha what a shitty old lady, kindly fuck off and go tend the hearth or whatever it is you do while I have sex with my blade" Keith waved dismissively.

But before he could close the door Allura became her true form again.

"You who once followed my orders only wanted wealth and power, so you will meet such an end!"

And before he could laugh at her face again she chained him to the walls of his house, his blade cursed to castrate him slowly and painful every second of every day of every year. As to his family she marked them and made it so that all in the land threw stones at them and never offered them anything, even food or rest. Allura then went outside Pidge's house and became an old woman again and knocked three times.

"Oh noble paladin will you not let an old lady in?" crowed Allura wisely.

"Ha ha ha what a shitty old lady, kindly fuck off and go rape cats or whatever it is you do while I have sex with my android" Pidge snooted dismissively.

But before she could close the door Allura became her true form again.

"You whom I once talked to were always jealous of me, so you will meet such an end!"

And before she could beg for forgiveness Allura turned her into a glove that fit around the android's penis, who was now a burning iron molochian visage. As to her family she made it so that they were three fleshy strings of a bone cithara lubed by boiling faeces. Allura then went outside Hunk's house and became an old woman again and knocked three times.

"Oh noble paladin will you not let an old lady in?" crowed Allura agedly.

"Ha ha ha what a shitty old lady, kindly fuck off and go bake strawberry pies or whatever it is you do while I have sex with my ube halaya" Hunk mocked dismissively.

But before he could close the door Allura became her true form again.

"You who once used my tools only wanted to satisfy your petty instinctual impulses, so you will meet such an end!"

And before Hunk could eat her she turned him with a duck with no mouth, knowing only the taste of ash in his mind and penile pressures on his cloaca. As to his family she made it so that they were eaten and raped by ravenous beasts every sunrise and every sunset. Allura then went outside Shiro's house and became an old woman again and knocked three times.

"Oh noble paladin will you not let an old lady in?" crowed Allura like a mutant cicada raped by existence itself.

"You know I am not a paladin any longer, I am the sovereign god king of a thousand nations and a thousand souls" Shiro imposed himself dismissively, "I am a sun unto myself. You are a shadow, my opposite in all aspects. Be gone and do not dare to do anything but to suffer."

And thus Allura was casted into the deepest hell once more. And for this righteous deed, the light of the universe granted Shiro's greatest reward, which was to see Zarkon and shota Lotor from the Altean continuity to copulate for all eternal history. This is why the stars shine with UV radiance, and if this is not true may my left hand lose its cunning and by right become a flaming sword.

Amen. 


End file.
